I See You...

Life, as I know will be no more. Love, as I have experienced will be no more. For the thousandth time, I asked Swami the same question. Why did You leave the human form, something unimaginable even in the worst of the nightmares. The truth is yet to sink in to me as my heart still refuses to believe it, a heartache that I had never experienced in twenty six years. For a moment.. life stood still, almost paralyzed. The very thought of His physical absence sends chills through my body. Being a mere mortal, I can't help but have the attachment to His physical form for how can a child not cry when its mother goes out of its sight though the truth is that He is the omnipresent. Swami has been (and will continue to be) the driving force in my life and my family. He has always been the source of inspiration to me, even before I entered the portals of Sri Sathya Sai Institute Of Higher Learning, as a teenager. Fortunate indeed we all are. He has guided me, my parents, my sisters constantly reminding us that He is in us, with us, all around us. Its only us, we fail to see the big picture. To the extent, Swami has saved my life. If not for him, I would have been long gone.. perhaps death embracing me with both hands without any hesitation whatsoever. And now with every passing day when I think of this and His love that my parents have experienced, it only re-instills my faith in Him. No matter what, He has been there with us.. guiding us, holding us, with His invisible hands and He will always be there, that I am sure of. To me and my family, Sathya Sai Baba is God. Period.

My life has a meaning, because of You. You are the only reason for whatever I am, I was and whatever I will be.

Now I only wish, I can See You more often in my dreams Swami with one prayer in my heart.

"Give me the strength to become worthy of being called Your student, Sai student,
 Give me the courage to lead my life in a way that my life can be Your message."

Prema Bandham

I wonder...

I wonder, what is it like to solve an unsolved mystery,
I wonder, what is it like to be a part of the history.


I wonder, how can someone be so beautiful yet so simple,
I wonder, how can someone be truly incorruptible.


I wonder, why is it so difficult to practice spirituality,
I wonder, why does one get trapped between the dreams and the reality.


I wonder, where can one find salvation,
I wonder, where can one resist the greatest temptation.


I wonder, if there is a cynical world up above,
I wonder, if life ever gave death a little shove.


I wonder, what plans must God have for himself,
I wonder, what spans the emptiness of the universe.


I wonder, how lonely the joker is in his own world,
I wonder, how busy he is drowned in her words.


I wonder, why the story always has a happy ending,
I wonder, why does it have to have a beginning.


I wonder, where is the line between madness and insanity,
I wonder, where on earth can one defy the law of gravity.


I wonder, if I loved being hated,
I wonder, if I hated being loved. 






P.S.: I must thank The Joker . 

Life's Little Instruction Manual

Have a firm handshake

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

Own a great stereo system.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell thedifference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Lend only those books you never care to see again.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with children, let them win.

Give people a second chance, but not a third.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is asimportant as it first seems.

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for yourconvenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets.Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

Happy Friendship Day..

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..


When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.




Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.




LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.


On this friendship day, I thank you all for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime..

Happy Friendship Day.  :)

Hard Reality

I have nothing specific in my mind as i write this post, yet there are so many thoughts to share. Its almost like a constant conflict, my mind says something totally different from what my heart believes in. I have stopped listening to both as I seem to find peace in confusion. I wonder if the dreams have any influencing factors on how the reality shapes up in one's life because of late someone in the reality tries to make it to my dreams, some one in the dreams refuses to become the reality and some one, well should I say is trapped in between the dreams and the reality. I find myself helpless in front of time, as I watch it making a mockery of myself. Well, the good thing is that it is only making me a stronger person and the only way I could make myself happier was to indulge in doing what I like doing. The IPL and biking has been keeping me busy too. Having said that, the hardest truth for me to digest in recent times was and still is the departure of one of my friends from this world. May your soul rest in peace bro. I still can't believe how unfair death can be to some. Life indeed is short, even though it might not seem like. May be we should be ready to embrace the hard realities like this one.

The Picnic.

Last month I had some great fun spending good amount of time the way I did as it was a clear cut diversion from how it had been for the past few weeks. Not to say that I don't have fun investing a good amount of time at work, oh yes I do like and enjoy what I do to earn my living. But its the other side of the coin that we tend to forget during the course of the so called busy life, sometimes even act as if it doesn't exist, ignoring the urge to do something different. The month started off with myself learning some salsa and hip-hop dance steps and dancing didn't stop there though as I watched the series of events unfolding later. What followed next was memorable event. And, that was the picnic to a hill station namely Saptasajya, a scenic beauty located eleven km out of Dhenkanal. I have always been flabbergasted by the places full of natural beauty and Saptasajya is one such place filled with the lush green landscapes apart from dense forest like surroundings with lot of trees. If you thought I missed out something, then you are right. There is also a mountain stream flowing down the hill.

We started off early in the morning (at around 6 o'clock) from Bhubaneswar as its a three hour long bus journey we had to travel and even before that the bus driver(s) for the two buses did have a job in his hand, picking everyone (ninety in number) up which was made easier with some meticulous planning by a team of dedicated individuals. It indeed needed a lot of pre-event planning as managing people of this big number is no less than a Herculean task. As we started for the picnic, at first I had an impression of it as a typical bus journey but boy, did we have fun. All my notions were proven wrong as soon as the wheels of the bus started rolling. All of us were in the mood to sing that we did with full throated voice. Aanth-akshari was just the beginning though, as one of us, Mr Hati, quite a popular figure in CDR team started entertaining everyone within the bus with his unique talent. His acts were were hilarious indeed, so much so that the two buses took turns to invite him to perform the acts, he did all the while we were in the journey. We just couldn't help but laugh and kept laughing till we had no more of laughter left in us. The journey was great although we did have some bumpy roads towards the last few miles to our destination. But thats how it is i guess. Many a times in life too we have to travel past the bumpy moments else would we be in a position to appreciate the brighter side of it.

Once we reached our destination, we had some breakfast and we were on our own to explore the place that is said to act as host to the Pandavas during their Agnyatvas days in these hills as they had spent one year this mountains for shelter. There is also the holy temple of Sri Ramachandra is located at about 900 feet at the hill top. A mountains stream flows down as if touching his holy feet in veneration. Mythologically this place is important and many legends are still available. Its name is Saptasajya because, there are seven hills surrounding the area. Again there is story that, the Saptarashi had their ashrams here in this place. There is also a mythological story, that, Sri Ram during his exiled or Vanabasha had spent seven days in this beautiful spot. This scenic spot has become a good tourist and picnic spot where thousands of tourists and devotees gather from different corners of Orissa and India. Once we were done with the breakfast, we went in groups up to the temple first and the hill top later. I must say I was in complete awe to see the greenery around. It would be a great a mistake on my part if I were to call this place just a picnic spot or a tourist destination as it didn't fail to baffle me with its dazzling and rejuvenating environment. When we were back for the fun activities, it started from where it had stopped at the bus with events like catch the balloon, tug of war and some solo songs sung by few of us and oh yes, my guitar did play a part for my song. When it came to the dancing to the beats of the music being played, it was a sight for the Gods to see. Oh my God, I never thought we could dance the way we did in the group, i mean all of us. It reminded me of my university days, when we used to dance in the DJ nights all night long at the university of Hyderabad. The crazy moves made by us had become a part of the interesting dance steps. On the way back to Bhubaneswar from Saptasajya, my mind was struck with a series of thoughts as I was reminded of a poem I had read sometime back in which the poet describes life as a journey. In my view, the journey of life gives us enough opportunities to make it a memorable one. Its up to us how we reach our destination and what we do to make it a memorable one.

Photographs Courtesy : Sridhar.

From Picnic 09

Berhampur's got talent.

Its been quite an experience watching the show India's got talent, now that I come home on weekends and sit in front of the TV for hours together (if I'm not online). Talent is precious and God given, not all are fortunate enough to possess it. With the advent of talent hunt shows, it has become easier to express oneself. Not long ago, we had tv channels flooding with daily saas-bahu soaps and the trend seems to be changing. Its all about the reality shows these days. Rarely can one find a show aired on the channels that can hold the interest of the audience long enough for it to be called as a show-stopper amongst them (and do I have to say anything about the desi news channels.. grr!!). Last time I remember watching a show with such interest was KBC. And the recently concluded talent show has proved that talent is something that can never be ignored, whatever be it. It was great to watch such talented people performing on the big stage. Shows like these bring out the talent that is often (otherwise) not recognized. The Berhampur based dance group (Prince group) showed to what level can a dance performance be taken to. Hats off to the guys from the group. And yeah, Berhampur is my native place. So u see people, there is something coming from this place in future for the whole world to hear (who knows), someone called Mr. "M" is on his way it seems and he is coming soon. :)

Silly Point..

There seems to be something that is holding me back from blogging. Now whatever that is, it surely has taken much of my space and time. I find it funny that I myself am not able to figure that. Strange.. very strange. Life seems like moving on a straight line at its own pace. It just refuses to listen and I don't force it either. What would you do if lies seem more believable, when it becomes difficult to digest the truth..  I think its deja-vu that I am experiencing. Its all relative isn't it.. Whatever it is, I have realized that no point in thinking it over especially when it seems nothing more than a silly point. And I believe whatever happens, its all for good..  :) 

I will be back. (Arnold Schwarzenegger style, yeah.!!)

P.S.1 : I am on cloud nine these days. I get to go home more often. Deccans have won the IPL trophy. I wish they had played well in the last edition when I actually had watched all their matches just to find myself disappointed then. Gilly rocks. Some of my friends got married and one of my friends got engaged few days back..  :)   Guys.. my best wishes to you all. Happy for ya.

PS.2 : Right now I am addicted to James Blunt, Savage Garden, Pink Floyd and Evanescence. (ARR addiction is all time.. )

An old tag : Fifty Five lives - Top Ten Countdown

This one is an old tag though i had thought of posting it earlier, i just couldn't. It made an interesting read when i had read the post by Barath (who had tagged me then). And btw, it is not a lengthy one, or is it.

Ten realizations :
10) I can't live without music.
9) It is impossible for me to fake successfully.
8) I can never understand a girl (though I don’t have to.., or do i ve to).
7) The simplest things have the greatest lessons.
6) I end up hurting others (unintentionally).
7) I never learn from my mistakes.
5) Never take someone for granted.
4) I hate being ignored.
3) Sometimes, It is better to listen to your heart than your mind.
2) That, I am hated for being myself.
1) God has a plan for everyone.

Nine things I'm glad that :
9) I'm alive.
8) My life has some purpose.

7) I've got some brains (and they’ll tell you, I'm not a moron).
6) I'm a musician and a (ok, fine.. self-acclaimed) singer.
5) I don't smoke.
4) I've got some very good friends.
3) I've sweetest elder sisters.
2) I've the best mom and dad.
1) God is there for me whenever I want.

Eight things I badly wanna
8) Become a pop star in the future.
7) Meet A.R.Rahman and take a lesson or two from the maestro.
6) Go on a dream date with my dream girl and sing a love song to her.
5) Do all those crazy things i never did.
4) Do something for this country.
3) Convey all that I could never say to some in the past.
2) Live to see my dreams come true.
1) Go on a transcendental tour.

Seven things I often tell myself
7) Just do it.
6) Nothing is difficult or impossible to achieve.
5) Don't you ever forget God.
4) Don't bother about what others say or think of you. Just be yourself.
3) Take life as it comes.
2) Just chill and relax.
1) Never make others feel uncomfortable.

Six People I wanna thank now

All my team mates.

Five things I believe
5) Music
4) Dreams

3) Love
2) Miracle
1) Spirituality

Four people I tag
4) Manasa
3) Sinivaali
2) Validus Varon
1) Rajesh

Three confessions
3) I'm an egoist.
2) I lose my temper too often.
1) I often get lost in the world of my own thoughts.

Two promises
2) I shall live my life in a way that I’ll have no regrets at the end of it.
1) I shall never break any promise I make.

One Prayer
1) Sarve janah sukhino bhabantu.

P.S. : Today happens to be my elder sister's birthday.! I pray and wish you get all the happiness in your life akka. You and sandhya akka are the bestest sisters.. :) And of course, this is the day dedicated to love. In my belief one needs no reason to celebrate love and it doesn't necessarily have to have a day to be celebrated. Coz, it is the eternal truth and we all are embodiments of love. Mr "M" recommends the movie 'Love actually' to watch, and the OSTs from the movie 'A Walk to Remember' to listen to, featuring Mandy Moore, Switchfoot and others, on this V'Day. So I ll stop here with a passage from Corinthians about love (that i had read from the book, A Walk to Remember) and i tell you, it did strike me out of the blue.

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes."

My Picks from the Year 2008..

Some time back, I was wondering 'which hindi movie would take away the honor for the best Hindi movie of the year 2008?' Now bollywood is all about biggies, the Khans, the Yash Rajs or the Johars. So I thought no use asking myself rhetorical questions. Wait a sec.. I have a blog and I can as well put it all together. So here it is. This is a post all about stuff from the year 2008 that I thought was best and happening. Now, this isn't complete in any way and its only what i liked the most. Apart from the world without, this year personally has been quite an experience for the world within me.. So I have put a few things (randomly) that the year 2008 had for me.

The song of the year : "Kahin to hogi woh". A love track from Jaane tu ya jaane na.

The album : Jaane tu ya jaane na.

The lyrics for a song : 'Kaise mujhe tum mil gaye' (Ghajini), Prasoon joshi.

The actors : Vinay Pathak (Dasvidaniya) and Heath ledger (The Dark Knight).

The movie(s) : English - The Dark Knight and Hindi - Dasvidaniya.

The dialogue : "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain."

The music director : A.R. Rahman. (Jodha akbar, Ada, JTYJN, Yuvvraj, Ghajini).

The sports person : Abhinav Bindra.

The cute (ah!) and the gorgeous : Asin.

The makeover : Aamir Khan.

The real find : Farhan Akhtar (as a singer), Yousuf Pathan (in IPL), Imran Khan (JTYJN).



And now, some of me in 2008..

The book I loved reading : The English Teacher by R.K. Narayan.

The most satisfying moment : Performing the song, kahin to hogi woh (so close to my heart) in front of my colleagues at Hyderabad.

The biggest surprise : Actress Revathy's visit to the University of Hyderabad. It was indeed a pleasure interacting with the gorgeous lady.

The moment of success : My M.Tech. project presentation. Can't believe, how much did I swoon over that.

The bitter moment(s) : Bitter (read as better) ! nah.. its all been going great and even though I had some bitter moments this year, they were all for good and I loved them. (ahem.. what a nerd!!)

The thought I got convinced : If you are clear about what you want. what you need and what you deserve, nothing in life would ever again seem like a bolt from the blue.

I hated saying : 'Good bye' to my friends while relocating.

The dream(s) come true : Not yet (i believe).

The language (not the programming language eh!) I tried (I repeat "I tried") learning : Tamil

The major stride : From university life to work-life.

I danced to the tunes of : 'Mauja hi mauja' and other punjabi tracks in the DJ night @ UoH.

The place I liked visiting : Chennai.

I caught up with : Paresh, Rakesh, Prashanth, Basanti (my high school friends) after like more than nine years. And.. Satya, Hemanth, Dillip, Priyanka (my 11th & 12th std buddies) after seven years.

The movie I connected to : Rock on.


(And this is a big one)..

The best gadget I got myself : (My) MacBook *.. :-)



Why so serious ??

From Untitled Album

I wish you all love, joy, peace and hope this New Year, 2009. May the dawn bring with it everlasting joy, prosperity and moments you'll cherish. The new horizons await you..


*All bragging rights NOT reserved. And btw, an "Apple" a day does keep the doctor away.. :-)

Soul'd out..

With so many things happening so fast, I only can say that the year has been no less than a roller-coaster ride for me. It was good, it was bad and it was ugly at times. Now that I don't have a series of exams to write or the compulsory classes to attend, I can say I am no more a "university student". I have got no more of university going life left for this year marked a start of new but different phase in my life although i believe education is for life and not just for making a living. It was a mixture of many feelings as the part of me was still unsure if it was ready to make the phase transition. Now i believe it couldn't have come at a better time. The past couple of months that saw a different kind of tsunami in the markets with the global economic meltdown making sure none of the private sectors were left unaffected. I wonder what is next ? Worst even was the terror attacks in Mumbai. How much more monstrous can an act of terror be ?

The year so far has been full of surprises for me, although I am not sure if I wanted them. I must say I had a very trying year with me not realizing the cause or the effect of the sequence of events unfolding in my life. Someone rightly said, God will always test a good man, but will never let him down. I know God has never let me down but HIS tests are never that obvious, are they ? They leave me completely soul'd out yet they never make me feel a lost soul. At times, it was me being the sole reason for discomfort to some. May be the helping part of me was equally busy hurting others, may be I was not being myself. I am not the sort of person to wallow in self-pity but only I know, how much did I hate myself then. Was it me ? Rubbing people up the wrong way. I don't know. All I know is that I have taken myself out with two words to myself.. "move on". It is not always what you see is what you get (or is it ?) and I have almost learnt to live with these surprises. Sometimes exciting and sometimes depressing. There is something about them that make life more fascinating. For some others, the twists and turns of the roller-coaster ride that life takes one through leaves one with a bitter and 'I-better-forget-that' kinda experience. Thats life for you. It can never be predictable, can it be ? But then, God doesn't play dice either, nor does he want us to i believe for the theory of probability unfortunately (or fortunately) can not be extended to the real life. Its the theory of living in the present that i believe in.

No matter how much the past may bother one, the fact is the past is unchangeable. The past is supposed to make us not repeat our own mistakes and I have learnt it in a hard way. At times circumstances have demanded me to act strange (may be even weird) and me not having learnt from my mistakes, didn't wimp out of it. There's many things i wish i didn't do. Now I know one mustn't make the same mistake twice and if one is clever enough he would learn from others' mistakes too. Future, in my belief is all about achieving one's goals and dreams. Dreams have their own place in everyone's life. Of what use is a life if only it is lived without any dreams. They set a standard for oneself and they have the quality that drives one to turn them into reality. Future isn't something that one needs to wait and watch it getting unfolded. Its all about make it happen and fate isn't blamed for anything for they believe they make their own fate. One can never deny the fact that, the past has a definite influence in one's life and the present in turn makes way for future. There has to be a balance maintained though to make the most now and that.. happens when one lives in the present. Nothing happens in life without a reason, be it the people we meet or the happiness or sadness that some incidents bring in our life.. it is only to make us stronger. Some might believe, life just hurts all the time. Oh, yeah ? Then one should picture one's life with only happier times with no bad patches. I bet one can never appreciate the brightness of the day unless one has seen the darkness that night brings with it. Its only one chance we have got to live this life with choice left to us. Life isn't all about just living it the way it wants us to. It is also about showing life the way we want to live it and the path we take matters the most for a gun can be used to kill a terrorist or to take an innocent's life. Perceptions do make a difference to our lives. All the hurt and agony that life may bring in one's life can never equal the sweetness of a single moment of joy. Its not enough to accept life for what it is. One must also learn to accept life for what it is not and surrender oneself completely to the Almighty..

I m alive..

Well, it seems like allz going good with me but for my blog. Yes, I am alive though its been ages since I posted something here (and that really makes me feel bad). Hope i get over this laziness of mine. Now there is something I (rather my blog has) received that made me wonder 'wowww, where did that come from ?' Its the award for my blog. The Freedom and Independent award from Barath. I dont know if I deserve it though but thanks a lot Barath for considering this blog worthy of this award. You do have a lovely blog dude and it has remained (and will always remain) an inspiration for my blog.


I would like to forward this award to the following bloggers.

1) Ajay - In love with life. A friend, techie, a musician and a blog buddy.. an inspiring blog indeed.

2) Karthik Prashant - The corner coffee table. A personal blog with a view of life from a different angle, a lovely blog brother.

3) Madhumita - I, Me, Myself. One of the most beautiful and colorful blogs. Simply superb.

4) Validus varon (a.ka. Fortis viator) - Chronicles of Fortis. A friend, a writer with a difference. Dude, your blog rocks.

5) Rampy - Just a thought. A techie, friend and a blog buddy. I don't miss a thing of this one.

Guest Post : The life and the love of balconies

This is the second in the series of guest posts. This time its my friend Barath ( a fellow blogger), has something to share on my blog and I am more than happy to have his writings here. Thanks a ton barath.. Dude, you write so very well.. But before that I also have a confession to make. I haven't been updating my blog or rather I have become lazy enough to write something for my blog, thanks to my seemingly busy schedule and my thoughts that keep me as busy as the other things in my life. okay, i ll try to become lil bit more active, but for now read this gem of a post (easily one of the best posts of my blog) that will make you fall in love.. with the 'balcony' of course :) .


The Life and the Love of Balconies


A lazy noon or be it the early morning hues of the sun or the orange dusk of the sky or a star-lit night in either a lonely space with clothes hung to dry or a fun filled moment with the family, Balconies are the most integral part of one's life. So is the terrace. It is the heart of the home, rather an home in itself. It gives out the best feeling of being at home. The magic of moonlight slyly sneaking onto you, when you're either a busy battering brain, sitting with a pen and a mind totally in action, or a laziness doused on the cold floor with a book at an unearthly hour. Lost in your train of thought-less thoughts. The magic is multiplied with the myriad magnificence of moods.

I remember falling in love at a very young age with this place, Balcony-The heart of the home. Balconies hold a prominent place in the growing up years, for that matter even in the days of grown-ups too. The sight of a child in the lap of a grand-parent in the rocking chair either listening to a story or a shout to the parent inside, "Amma inga vaaven" for a minute's sight outside. somebody walking to and fro in the balcony with a text-book in hand, somebody relaxing with music plugged in. The sight of a dreamy deary one passing in the bike when the lady-love is busy in a idle-chat with mom in the balcony.


Growing up with balconies provides the solace in love and comfort with the re-assurance of the knowledge that there is someone-always-there-for-you. The shutting of the balcony door after a fight with dad/mom/sibling. The furious made-up-mad-mood till someone comes to pacify you. The comfort when mom brings food to the balcony and feeds you, The sight of the pet lying next to you, waiting to be petted. The sight of dad returning home after a day's work, the shout in joy when seeing a friend. The watching of rainbow with the sibling after a downpour.

When life beckons you in Joy or sorrow, Balcony with its wistful looks waits for you, to let you into its life. The moments cried in hurt and humiliation, The vent-up anger, Those failures, The Failed first love, fight with a friend, loss of a loved one, the bottled envy and frustration. The planned secret first meeting, the chance meeting of him/her in the terrace. The long hours of chronic-conversations, the laid-back night with the silver hues of the moonlit night sky and a mobile leaning onto the pillar with the conversation continuing till the dawn. The meeting of the newly-weds for a private conversation. The look of the colored wall after the Holi celebrations.

The long conversation with an old friend while catching up after a long-time. The talk that easily shifts from the new job to the recently read-book to the mega-flop Drona to the still-missed The Dark Knight and The Kung-fu Panda or listening to the magic of music when someone plays a music instrument.

Life is when you live. The life ahead with a promising newness to everything. The million dreams and a zillion hope that one life has in store to offer. The painful yet an exciting truth that life is all about moving on. The enlightened knowledge that these beautiful moments of life gives is an immense joy. The understanding that at times life is more like the sight from a balcony. The detachment only comes from the true attachment. All those insightful-inevitable moments of life is witnessed only by the sole-soul of the home-Balconies.

Jaane tu... ya jaane na...

Its been a while since I watched a movie that has so much in it and yet a very simple and would-like-to-watch-it-again kinda movie. "Jaane tu.. ya jaane na.." has no great story neither is it a new concept. But it manages to keep the interest of the audience going. The story revolves round two (best) friends.. Aditi and Jai. They give most of their time to each other during their five years of college life but fail to realize that they indeed love each other. As the saying goes, "The grass is greener on the other side", you get to see exactly the same thing happening in their lives. And thats not all.. At one point in the movie, it seems like "The grass isn't green anywhere" for Aditi and Jai. Everyone thinks that they both are perfect for each other (including their parents). But they both seem to be in a state of denial. The rest of the story is anyone's guess and a numerous cliches from 'Kuch kuch hota hai' to 'Dil chahta hai' can be found in this movie. But the element of humor (from silly to satiric n sarcastic n obscure) stands out. Some scenes in fact might leave you perplexed/ puzzled (whether to laugh or to cry ?). Like the one in which Jai's mother talks to her late (framed) husband where she argues over her husband's act of war that led to his death. Another such scene is where meghna tries to laugh looking at her parents fight, so that she could hide all the hurt inside.

Rahman's music is mind blowing (yes, it is.. you might not find it the very first time you listen, but surely you will fall in love with the music if you listen to it over and over again.. thats so very typical Rahmanish). The background score surely adds a lot of value to the movie and as always this time too, his music perfectly blends into some of the (situational) songs. "Kahin to hogi woh" is one such song which would make you feel 'wanna fall in love'. In fact when I first heard this one, the immediate thought then was.. this is a kind of a song that one would like to play for his loved one on a candle light dinner on a date (I am actually listening to it right now, whilst writing this blogpost.. :) ). And "Jaane tu.. ya jaane na" sung by Sukhwinder singh is a masterpiece indeed.. Hats off to Mr. Mozart of Madras..

All in all, the movie is a must watch. It portrays relationships and all its complexity to perfection. Be it the brother-sister, the father-mother, the husband-wife or the girl friend-boy friend.. different aspects of a relationship have been depicted with the humor making sure the lighter side of it is not lost. I am sure anyone watching this movie would relate himself(/herself) to any of the characters at some point or the other. I guess the filmy touch to this (otherwise very) non-filmy movie comes only at the end where the story ends at the airport. I don't know(/understand) if the movie aims at creating illusions hiding the truth or depicting the truth hiding the illusions as I felt both were equally embedded into the storyline. This movie would take you through a journey that has a lot of twists and turns with none of them being apparent and as obvious as it might seem, yet at the end of it you shouldn't be surprised if you are made to believe that the journey was as smooth as any other journey you have been through in the past.. thats 'Jaane tu.. ya jaane na' for you... Watch it and I bet your heart wont be left untouched..

So.. When do you know its love ??
Jaane tu .. ya jaane na..

An era in an hour...

Time is a strange phenomenon.. Sometimes it gives you a feeling that you have spent ages at the end of which you get a realization that it was only an hour that has gone by. Is it magic or is it the theory of relativity ? Name it whatever you like.. and my recent visit to the Golconda fort had it all. Places of historic importance have never failed to baffle me. I have always wondered, what if I could go back in time and witness all that is history now. It took me some time to realize that I was right at a place which has seen the ages of civilizations flourishing and perishing. The very place where the kings had their headquarters, many great battles were fought and many a love stories had blossomed.

A lovely evening, a narration haunting enough.. Add to that the (very apt) light effects, Golconda seemed to beckon me. An hour long light and sound show had almost transcended me to the times of the Nawabs.. I didn't know if I had lost myself in the glorious history of the past all the while the narration went on. It felt like every single event was unfolding right in front of my eyes. Golconda which was the backbone of the dynasty then had been a witness to some of the lurid battles. I wonder what all it has been put through in the past. To think that Golconda fort is just a tourist destination would be a great mistake. It certainly is more than that. It stands testimony for the bravery of the Hyderabadi Nawabs and the courage possessed by the warriors. No wonder, every now and then the tourists are taken on a unique tour back in time and it would continue to do so in the future..

Aadab Golconda, aadab Hyderabad..

Guest Post : A memory called Mano anna..

Well... this is a new thing, I am experimenting with my blog.. Ever heard of guest appearances in movies.. yeah something like that !! I had invited someone to write for my blog and this is the first ever guest post! :) Now as promised to the author, the name the author is not going to be revealed.. You may find the concept of remaining anonymous a bit strange and "why would one like to remain anonymous ?" . Believe me, writing anonymous articles gives one the freedom to express oneself best and its not a new concept anyway.. So read on !!

A memory called Mano Anna.

Recounting memories of someone is a tiring process, yet there are certain memories, when cherished creates rainbows of myriad hues with subtle shades of different emotions in the mind. It gives the true delight of life, which soothingly embraces the soul. One such memory is Mano anna.

There was no one in the street who didn’t know him, the mechanic Manoharan. Everyone calls him, ‘dey mechanic’. Dad and mom call him, ‘mano thambi’. To me, he is mano anna, my mano anna. I met him when I was six or seven years old. He was six years elder than me.

I am the only child at home. I can be spotted either roaming in the street, fighting with older boys, or in the mechanic shed after my school hours. There were at least a dozen kids and it was natural for us to squabble one thousand times each day. Though I got along well with everyone, I spend most of my time in mano Anna’s mechanic shop. At 15 he was the owner of this shop, Mano anna, unlike me doesn’t speak much, even if he speaks, I call it whispering. He is very soft spoken, who never loses him when dealing with people. He can be always seen working, with those grease stains all over him. All he knew in his life was his mechanic shop, his motor bike, his Bible, his harmonica, his volley ball and his few friends. He had an elder sister, who was studying in Chennai. He earned and spent everything for her. And more than anything, he is my good friend, a brother and my first male companion. I spent my childhood days in his company and grew up with him. My parents never objected or had problems with this. My grand-ma disliked me spending time with mano anna. There were times when she was rude and shouted at him for no reasons. I appreciated my parent’s efforts to pacify her, but every time they fail miserably in their mission. I had no problems over anything. I hate my grand-ma for her constant surveillance on me and her endless preaching on how-to-be-a-girl. I remember her constantly telling me that it is not good for a girl to have friendships with boys. I can very well understand my grand-ma. To her, her views and perceptions were right and hence she was reasonable. But I never personally believed in all that she told me.

I passed out of the school and took admission in the college. When I was in second year, mano anna got his sister married off .Things changed between us. He didn’t like me spending much time in the shop, rather never encouraged me. But he and our relationship remained the same. He will come to our home once in a while to help my dad and my mom in their usual chores. There was this one thing that I always wonder about him. He never went further our sitting room in our home and even when my mom insisted on eating with us on any festivals, he never accepted the invitation. He would always excuse himself and get the feast packed to eat in the shop with other workers.

And my mom for every Easter and Christmas would specially cook spice stuffed oil brinjal, puliogare, drumstick curry and pappads for him. I could only smile pitifully for him at the very thought of seeing him miss all the wonderful non-vegetarian feasts. I love my mom more for what she has been to him in all those years. When I was in Mumbai, I got his wedding invitation. I couldn’t attend his marriage for some reasons. I met Mano anna lastly in my marriage. He was there with his wife and his girl child. I felt good to see him after a long time. The child was six years old. I met him first when I was six years old. He had named her, ‘Avantika’. I couldn’t help but smile with tears for all that Mano anna had given me in my life- including my name for his daughter.

Two decades of life went turning me forty five. Life blessed me with two boys and a girl. Whenever I see my eldest son and daughter together, I’m reminded of Mano anna and me. I can now tell my grand-ma that my relationship with mano anna gave me a healthy view of men and women relationships. It helped me to trust men and understand that they are different and not bad. He thought me how important it is for women to be courageous in life. I teach my kids responsibility for I’ve seen what it is to be responsible even in one’s young age.

I remember those days of my life, when I’m in the mechanic shop with mano anna busy in his work. The only emotion I remember of Mano anna is how I cried softly when I first listened to his harmonicas magic. The only memory that lingers in my mind is the expression in Mano Anna’s face as he wiped the grease in his face with the back of his hand.

IPL fever is on.. or is it!!

What has happened to me.. I seem to find no time for my blog (even though I have a loadz of it for every other damn thing) and thats the reason why this blog has not been updated since ages.. Not that I dont waste any time.. I usually do and who doesn't.. But we have something called 'a project work', a year-long thing and we have to windup everything within the deadline and thats keeping me away from this place. And of course.. the hottest thing for the cricket lovers is still on. The IPL. That has taken away a chunk of my time for the past few weeks. And I had to constantly make a decision between IPL, Project work and the online world, somewhat confused.. So you see, how many things I have in my mind.. (and not to mention the unbearable intolerable scorching summer taking away all my energy.. it sucks!)

Anywayz.. nothing prevents me from seeing the IPL matches and the other day, I went and watched the match between DC vs MI at the Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium, Uppal. I must say it was one hell of an experience. The atmosphere, the crowd, the occasion and not to forget the cheerleaders.. [;)]. Now I know why people turn up in such a huge number for the matches. Although i didn't have much to cheer for DC for they did what they have been doing for the past few matches.. play and lose the match by a small margin. I wonder if DC guys have taken a pledge not to win the matches.. First few matches rohit played then vvs and now venu.. But not a single occasion they put up a combined team effort. Its a pity that such a team which was arguably the best team on the paper at the starting of the tournament has gone down in such a mysterious way. May be thats what happens when you have only swashbuckling players.. But then Rahul's (RCB) team isn't performing either.. they have many established test players unlike DC. So even thats a bad idea and by now he would have realized that (I m sure he must have). I seriously feel sorry for Rahul for they have been outclassed in almost every match by their opposition unlike their friends DC who have been fighting very hard to win and of course they know not what it is to be lucky..

Though the initial outburst of runs from the teams made it look like its a '200 in 20 overs' affair, the average scores have gone down slowly and steadily.. And now i wonder if I have the same interest to watch the matches as I had it in the beginning.. I don't blame it on the ever decreasing totals but somehow its too much i felt.. Hitting a six is spectacular, but it can be dull when it becomes a routine.. Having said that, IPL has also given us enough reasons to avoid test matches and as some old cricketing brains may fear, the new breed of players may get lost in this world of commercialized cricket and that is bound to happen if the care is not taken to preserve the aesthetics of test matches.. But who cares, as long as I get to see some interesting contests between the teams in five hours, its fine and perfectly wokay.. but then not like IPL either, too many matches within too little time.. Now i am no more confused for I have realized I have only a few options and 'IPL' certainly thrown out of my list..

A lovely talk by a lovely lady..

Last month actress Ms. Revathy Menon was here.. @ University of Hyderabad (I know I should have blogged about it much earlier). As a part of the program called 'Women's March', she was invited to give a talk. The actress well known (in south India especially) for her acting talent also has two movies to her credit as a director, 'Mitra-myfriend' and 'Phir milenge'. I have seen the second one and I thought it was courageous on her part to make a movie such as this one. She didn't speak much about this movie though. The focus was on Mitra-myfriend and I thought the talk was very much insightful. What I liked about her talk was the clarity with which she spoke. I seriously doubt if any of the current generation actresses can speak with such authenticity.. And what can I say about her charisma.. She is one of the four gorgeous ladies I have seen.. { My mom and my elder sisters are the first three in the list.. :) }. I had an opportunity to ask a question to her and I don't miss many. Though my question was a twisted one, she gave a straight forward answer to that one.

The question was a bit out of context kinda thing and i didn't expect her to answer.. but to my surprise she could get what i had intended to ask and she even answered it. It was regarding the issue of "Being Single". In India if a woman wants to remain single it is considered to be a taboo (?? H--0$----Lity or Impotency is what they think of when one says he/she prefers to remain single {even though he/she may not be so..} !!). Its true that only a small (in fact very small) percentage of women would like to be so but the point i wanted to make was "Why does the Indian society not allow this concept of being single and how can the issue be addressed through the media ?". She made a statement.. "The relationship between a man n a woman is the most beautiful one and its more important that he/she appreciates the differences and accept the other person for what she/he is". Honestly speaking, I have different views about relationships and all.. but I agree to some extent with what she said. After all, its not all about compromises we have to make in life. I would say it is sufficient but not the necessary condition for longevity of a relationship (I had a long discussion also with one of the bloggers, Barath on this topic). Finally what I want to say is this. Ms Revathy isn't like what you would expect a (stereotypical) actress to be. The humility and simplicity aren't what we generally associate with actresses. But she is an epitome of these qualities and the fact that she is constantly working to contribute to the society by addressing different issues related to women through media, tells a lot about her. She indeed is a role model for many.

P.S. : Fellow blogger Barath also has blogged about the visit.This is the LiNk. I thank Barath for he was the one who told me about the talk and Sudarshan anna for having taken some lovely snaps.

A Musically Melancholic Mind..

Holi came and went.. Rang De Basanti was the song on my mind then. But I am afraid the extremity of mood swings has made me forget the song. Sometimes what you do needn't necessarily be what you intended to do.. I was made to realize that I have become forgetful. As I have recently discovered, I have been quite unfair.. to some, my very own friends. There's many things I wish I didn't do and I can never forgive myself for mistakes I have committed. My mind was occupied with many a thoughts. Random, depressed, weird, strange.. Of late, I have been into music and was trying out new compositions on the keyboard. The strange thoughts kept my mind busy and my hands, refused to stop.. Nothing can describe those feelings better than this piano piece of mine, a result of all that my mind was going through..

Info : The music piece was played by Manoj and was recorded with the help of the Philips Go Gear mp3 player.

Never say Good Bye to me..

Its been a quiet week for me.. (ok.. the HoLi-day was an exception). Playing with colors is always fun.. more so on the day of holi. Its not often that you throw a bucketful of colored water on someone and still get away with it. Past few years have only made me lose my excitement for this day that once I used to have but this time, I saw myself getting colored and get into the act.. (I couldn't escape though I had tried to). I even wanted to lock myself in the room and stay away from all this but soon realized that it was a very bad idea after seeing someone doing so only to find his room being flooded with water and the door.. well, it was being turned into a piece of an art. ( I don't think I need say, how did the other guys manage to throw water inside..!!). Some guys just go wild when it comes to coloring others (or even getting themselves colored). Indeed it is a festival that brings everyone together.. a festival of joy thats celebrated overwhelmingly in most parts of India. (and sometimes it can be over-overwhelming..).

Its like a tradition here in the university that the students go to the staff quarters where the faculty members of respective departments reside and wish them, put some colors on them and so did we. We were wished by them too and all of us returned back to the hostels after having some sweets they had offered (this is the best part of holi.. loadz of sweets everywhere.. :) ).

On our way back, I saw some kids there trying to play and fight among themselves with whatever holi arms they had.. the colors, the water bottles and all. It was then I started looking back at the yesteryears and those memories kept hitting back to me. My mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of the past as I took a tour back in time. I was now watching myself closely.. the part of me which existed years ago, an innocent little boy. I could now see him playing with all his little friends. He would just go on playing till someone stops him and the only thing he would then have in his mind was how well can he throw the little amount of water he then had in his bottle, on others.. Sometimes he would be in a blissful state and some other times, totally upset. He would pour that holi water on his elder sisters and would start jumping with joy as though it was one of the greatest achievements in his life. And when he had no more energy to play he would come back home, sit quietly and wonder what if everyday would have been like holi.. No school, no studies.. only playing with colors. And when he had asked his mother the same question, she would tell him some stories and he would then happily get convinced.

Well.. as I was watching him I couldn't help but smile for he was the one, a known stranger to me.. I could see him smile back too. He was not gone yet. I thought he was waiting for me to tell him bye bye.. So I said good bye to him.. and to my astonishment he replied back with a smile, "Never say good bye to me.." and then walked away into the thin air. At that moment, I felt that he has conveyed a message that I would try not to forget. I wish I could become a kid all over again and live all my life like that innocent little kid, who never had any feelings of hatred, jealousy or anger !! I wish..